Punch Your High School English Teachers in the Face -or- BAD RULES

Three rules you can throw out the window:

1) A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with. Says who? Excuse me, “says whom?” Winston Churchill used to make fun of this rule when he said “this is the sort of trouble up with which I will not put.” If you need to dangle a preposition to make your sentence more comprehensible, so be it.

2) You're not allowed to ever split an infinitive. For some reason, you can't put words between to and the verb when using the infinitive form. Why? I have no clue. Some of my favorite phrases are rife with split infinitives. Any Star Trek fans out there? “To boldly go where no man has gone before” sounds better than “To go boldly where no man has gone before.” It's not so bold after the infinitive.

3) Never, ever modify a superlative. This rule certainly doesn't apply in the US, where the people elected to form a more perfect union. I do wish people would follow one element of this rule, though. Whenever I hear someone say “somewhat” or “very” unique, I break out in spots. Unique means “one.” You can't be somewhat singular or very singular any more than you can be a little pregnant or slightly dead.