Welcomez to Write Goodly

My business clients ask me to do one thing “make me write good.”

“Well,” I say. And I pause and wait for them to ask the inevitable “well, what?” I say “make me write well.”

And then the client says “but I asked you first. What am I paying you for?” And I say “for what are you paying?”

And the client says “don't you know?” And we go along like that until I either get punched in the face, or they write me a check. To me, there's no more beautiful piece of writing than a check. There should be a poem written about it, but that poem will never be as beautiful as that check. Unfortunately, after they write me the check, I'll look at them straight in the eye and tell them “you can already write well.”

I know, I should have waited to cash the check, but I have to sound all mystical and sensei-like, that way they get the full Mr. Myagi wax-on-wax-off spirit of Zen writing. I'm a sage, a mystic. I am the master. But I'm also right – they do know how to write, because they know how to read.

Welcome to WriteGoodly - an unorthodox guide to writing without fear.